The Fox, The Witch and The American
by Symple
Summary: THIS STORY HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED. THE NEW VERSION WILL BE CALLED "WITCHES AND NINJAS AND ALCHEMISTS, OHMY!"
1. Chapter 1: The Mayhem Begins

Chapter One: The Mayhem Begins

The Fox, The Witch and the American.

HP/NARUTO/REALWORLD CROSSOVER. Okay, here goes nothing. Introducing... A story where the poor Naruto charters are thrown into our world. The horror. Then Naruto characters, and my character, get sent to Hogwarts. Even more horror. Set in a world where Sasuke has been forcibly removed from Orochimaru. You want to know why? Because I need him. That's why. Anywhat, back to the story. The Rookie Nine, my charrie and Gaara are all 14/15. Team Gai and Temari are all 15 and Kankuro is 16. I think that's it so, READ ON!! And as far as I know, there will be no pairings. I suck majorly at romance.

(Thought I might want to add. The Fox I think we all know. Hint: The Epitaph of the Dumb Blonde. The Witch is the HP stuffus, and the American is my character. And the Name setup comes from "The Lion the Witch and The Wardrobe")

--

Chapter One: The Mayhem Begins

It was a peaceful day in Konoha and Tsunade looked painfully at the four ninja standing in front of her.

Kakashi was leaning against the wall to her left, reading that perverted book of Jirayas; Sakura was standing in front of her desk, smiling in an unsettling sort of way. Naruto was next to her, with his hands behind his head and his famous grin plastered on his face. Sasuke was leaning against the wall on her right, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets.

"Okay," Tsunade began. "As you all know, you have been assigned a new mission."

"Hey Kakashi," Sasuke started, and then said teacher stopped him. "I'm not going." He said simply. Sasuke merely lifted his eyebrows in surprise. The other two, however, were not so subtle.

"What do you MEAN your not coming!?" Naruto practically shouted as he threw his hands in the air. "How am I supposed to cope with these bozo's!!" She practically screamed.

"Both of you SHUT UP!!" Tsunade did scream. Naruto and Sakura quickly complied. "Sheesh, I have a frikin' hangover. Now let me finish." Naruto sweat dropped. Tsunade glared at him. He gulped.

"Any way, you won't be alone. We know someone who can meet you. Her name is Kaira Nehto. She will meet you at your arrival spot. She also inform on the second half of your mission. Meet me in my office at 7:30 tomorrow morning. Now shoo." Tsunade said. "And don't worry," She called to their backs. "You won't need anything." Then they left.

"You're sure that they're ready for this?" Tsunade asked Kakashi. "Don't worry; I think that'll find America and Britain nice enough places." Kakashi said.

-Skip to 7:30 Tomorrow morning-

The following morning, the three ninja were waiting outside Tsunade's office, when the door was pushed open by its owner. "Come with me." she said sharply. "NOW!" When she saw Naruto looked like he was going to stretch.

"We're on a tight schedule." Tsunade said as they walked outside.

On the ground in front of them was a boot. A ratty torn up boot. VERY exciting.

Sasuke raised his eyebrows at it. "How is that going to get us any where?" He asked. "Don't worry." Tsunade said cheerfully. "Now, pick it up."

Sasuke looked at it as if it would give him a disease. But Naruto just shrugged and picked it up.

"Now I need you two," Tsunade instructed while pointing at Sasuke and Sakura, "to grab onto some part of it. Like a shoelace of a flap. That's it. So..."

She said and whipped a small handbook looking thing. It read on the front, "Portkeys for Dummies" They all sweat dropped.

"Well..." said Tsunade, "It says here that it should go into effect right abou-" But she was interrupted as the three ninja were swept away by some invisible force, leaving no trace of them." Well," She started. "That was fun." And she walked briskly back inside.

--

Kaira was dreaming. She had fallen of a cliff and her brown hair was wildly flying everywhere, and her wide open brown eyes were staring at the swiftly approaching ground when, WHAM!

A pokey bundle weighing a lot landed on her back. She couldn't move an inch.

"Ouch! That was my face you just elbowed dobe." came a voice from the bundle. It was a boy, she was sure of it. "Well someone's FOOT is in my BACK!" Another voice said. This one was a girl. Kaira tried to agree but it didn't work very well, since her face was currently being smashed into her pillow.

"Hey!" said another voice, also male, "I think something's underneath the blankets." Then the weight was suddenly removed from her back.

As she sat up, she breathed a sigh of relief. Then she saw the people who had landed on her.

There were two boys and a girl. The boy standing on her left had black eyes, and hair of the same color. He was wearing Blue shirt and white sailor shorts. The girl was standing in the middle, and had pink hair and green eyes. She was wearing a pink short dress thing, and black knee-high boots. The last boy on the right had blonde hair and blue eyes, and was wearing a completely orange and blue outfit. He also had some weird scratch looking things on his cheeks, three on each one.

She on the other hand was wearing a black tank-top and green and blue stripped pajama pants. Her hair probably looked like an afro crossed with a huge rats nest and her eyes were only half open and unfocused.

'Well,' Kaira thought. 'This is defiantly the strangest morning of my life.'

"Hello." The girl said. I'm sorry about landing on you. We're looking for a girl named Kaira. We need some information from her. We were told that she would be nearby when we arrived. Is she here?" Kaira blinked. "I'm Kaira. But I'm sorry; I don't have any information for you. Heck, I don't even know what your names are. " She said simply. But before the girl could speak again, the dark haired boy began speaking.

"Sorry. My name is Sasuke Uchia. The girl is Sakura Haruno and the other boy is…" But he was interrupted by the blonde.

"And my name is Naruto Uzumaki! Greatest ninja ever and future Hokage of Konohagakure! That's where we're from you know, and we're all ninja and…" He said loudly before being interrupted by Sakura slapping him upside the head. "Idiot." She muttered. "There goes any sort of cover we ever had." "Well," Sasuke replied, "It's not like our form of transportation was very inconspicuous."

While the two teenagers were conversing, Kaira was going through serious mental shock. 'Did he just say _ninja_?' She thought incredulously. 'And what's a Hokage, and where is Konohagakure.' She was so surprised she could only sit there and wonder, until her thoughts were interrupted by her body being roughly shaken awake.

"Hello!" Someone was saying, actually, more like yelling. "Earth to Kaira, anybody home?"

"Uh… What…" Was her oh so intelligent reply. "We were asking you a little about yourself."

"Oh uh, my name is Kaira Johnson, I'm 14 and I live in America." As she was about to continue, Naruto groaned.

"Didn't Tsunade-sama say Kaira Nehto, not Johnson?" Sakura asked the others.

"I KNEW Baa-chan would mess this up somehow. I had a feeling that there was some thing rather fishy about that boot. " Naruto sighed. "Wait," Kaira said. "I'm named after my mother. Her last name might've been Nehto."

"Well," said Sasuke, "Where is she?"

"She's dead." Was all Kaira could say. "She died giving birth to me. Now do you want to continue this discussion in my room or some where else, perhaps the backyard?

"Let's stay inside." Sakura voted. "I feel sort of heavy." The other two nodded in agreement.

"Okay, then I'll have to ask you to leave." Kaira said.

"Why?" Naruto asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Nah, I just need to change." Kaira said in a lightly teasing manner.

There was a lot of blushing and stuttering from the boys as Sakura calmly pushed them out of the room.

As Kaira was changing, she thought about all of the things that happened in the space of three minutes. On minute she was sleeping, the next she was being crushed by a pokey bundle and after that she was being told that the people who squished were ninjas from a place called Konohagakure. It all just didn't make sense. One, how the heck did they get in her room? Two, when she thought of people in black sneaking invisibly though a calm village at the dead of night. Not a bunch of teenagers landing on an undignified heap on her.

When she came out again, she was wearing a plain green tank top and black skinny jeans.

When the three strangers saw they followed her back into room, where Kaira sat and her bed and the others either sat on the floor or leaned against a wall.

"So," Kaira asked, "What's a ninja and why are you here."

"Ninja in our society are like the heart and power of our village." Sasuke said, "We go on missions, helping the village by either doing services for the village or to other people or villages earning money for our village. We are also paid for our services." He added when he saw Kaira was a little confused. "Missions can range from finding a missing cat," At those words Sakura and Naruto both sighed. Naruto mumbled something like, 'Stupid cat, took forever to,' Sasuke cleared his throat. Naruto glared at him, but shut up.

"Anyway from finding lost _pets_" he added sourly. "To taking out people dangerous enough to wipe out an entire village by themselves."

Before Sasuke could continue however, Sakura took over. "Our village is the Village Hidden in the Leaves, but most people just call us Leaf Ninja, just like we call some other ones Sand, Mist or Sound Ninja. Does that cover everything?"

"Everything except one question. The fact that I don't know if you're really ninja's, or some mental house escapees. Prove to me that your ninja." Kaira stated, and then crossed her arms.

Sasuke stood up wearily as if the whole world was on the weight of his shoulders. But before he could do anything, Naruto leapt up, pushing Sasuke roughly out of the way.

"Hey Kaira!" He said. "Watch this!" He then did some weird hand signs and said, 'Multi Shadow Clone Jutsu'. And a HUGE cloud of smoke appeared. When it cleared, a very proud, very ALONE looking Naruto stood in the center of her room.

"HUH!?" Naruto shouted. He looked left, right even backward trying to see some sort of difference in the room. "Where'd my shadow clones go?"

Kaira shook her head and sighed, so they were just a bunch of nut jobs.

Sakura saw the look on Kaira face and pulled a star looking thing from a previously unnoticed pouch attached to her right leg. In one swift movement she sent the thing spinning toward Kairas face, but instead of hitting her it hit the wall next to her face instead.

Kaira gulped at the metal throwing star quivering slightly in front of her nose. 'Where in the _world_ did she learn to throw like that?

It seemed Sasuke had caught on. Her closed his tightly and opened, to show that his pupils had been replaced by three swirling red dots, or that's how it looked from Kairas point of view.

Kaira was stunned. Simply amazed by this show of wonders.

'Now I think I believe them' was all her brain could think before her thoughts were interrupted again by the loudmouth blonde.

"Hey," Naruto asked a little sulkily, "Why couldn't I do Shadow Clones?"

"Yeah I know." Sakura added, a little puzzled, "Isn't your specialty?" Naruto nodded. "Why don't you try, Sakura-chan, Sasuke?" Naruto asked. Sasuke merely shrugged.

"Shadow Clone Jutsu." He said. Once again the huge cloud of smoke filled the room, and once again the dark haired ninja was alone. This time though, he had a troubled expression on his face.

"It felt like my chakra was blocked." Sasuke said irritably. "Well what does that mean?" Sakura asked. "It means," he said quietly, we have no jutsu."

-- End Chapter One--

Well, glad that's over with. Hope you enjoyed the first Chapter of my new fic, 'The Fox, The Witch and The American' I'll probably update soon, but for now, Bye! poofs


	2. Chapter 2: Trouble, Trouble, Trouble

The Fox, The Witch and The American

Ah yes sorry about that, I forgot to add this in last time. Naruto & CO. belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Harry Potter & CO belong to J.K Rowling. Now, on with the story!

_--_

Chapter Two: Trouble, Trouble, Trouble

"WHAT!!" Naruto and Sakura shouted at the same time.

'Their _chakra _might be gone,' Kaira thought sarcastically. 'But their lungs are still healthy.'

"Then how come you get Sharingan?" Naruto asked, annoyed. "Maybe because it's a blood trait?" Sasuke replied. "But for more detail, we'd need a Neji or Hinata."

"But I thought that Tsunade-sama said that we were the only ones on this mission?" Sakura said. "That's the problem." Sasuke replied.

"Great!" Naruto cried, "Now we're stuck in some strange place with no chakra, and no way to reach Konoha. Stupid Baa-chan." Sakura punched him on the shoulder, but instead of just leaning over a little bit, Naruto went flying into the wall, landing in the next room over!

Kaira was flabbergasted. If her jaw dropped in any lower, it was in danger of hitting the ground.

"Yes," Sakura shouted and grinned, "I can still use chakra in my hands!"

As Naruto was getting back up, he stopped when he was in a crouching position. Then he promptly fell back over on his butt.

"Naruto!" Sakura said franticly, the smile melting off her face, "I didn't mean to hurt you that bad!" "It's not that." Naruto assured her. "I just, I just feel like I have one huge weight on me." Sasuke tried standing up and walking over to Naruto. By the time he got over to him, he was breathing heavily.

"It's true." Sasuke half gasped, half said. "It does feel like I have a huge weight on my back." Kaira tried standing up, nothing felt wrong to her. "I'm fine." She said.

"It feels like, like higher gravity or something." Sasuke mumbled, before sitting down next to Naruto.

"I thought my kunai might've been heavier. It also might've been the reason that Naruto only went through one wall instead two or three." Sakura suggested.

"So let me get this straight. In the place where you come from, people have 'chakra' and the gravity is different?" Kaira said incredulously. 'Not to mention punching people through three walls and not feeling at all fazed.'

"Yep!" Naruto said cheerily.

Kaira rubbed her temples. This was going to be a long, _long _day. 'And probably more like this.' She thought to herself. 'Or at least until they leave.'

--Later that night--

The three ninjas and Kaira were sitting on her couch, relaxing after the strange day.

First, the two boys had insisted on doing push ups until they fainted, or almost fainted. Naruto had fainted; Sasuke had only become so pale his skin was almost translucent. 'Only' being used here in the loosest sense. Then the three had experimented, attempting to see which of their so-called '_chakra points'_were open or not. So far, they found that they only ones that were open were the ones in their hands and feet. Then they had decided to have lunch. Luckily for Naruto, Kaira liked instant ramen, and kept some around for herself to eat. After lunch Naruto, Sakura and Kaira talked for a little bit, while Sasuke sat in the corner and read one of Kairas old English textbooks, in an attempt to learn bits of English.

Now they were sitting on her couch, wondering what to have for dinner. Naruto obviously voted for ramen again, but Sasuke and Sakura flat out refused. And so, they sat.

"I still think we should," "No!" Sakura and Sasuke refused again. "I am_ not_having any more of that infernal soup." Sasuke said. Sakura nodded her head in agreement.

"I could make sandwiches?" Kaira suggested. "Sandwitch? Why would we want a sandy witch?" Naruto said. Kaira rolled her eyes. "Sandwiches have nothing to do with sand or witches Whiskers." She said, calling Naruto his new nickname. "A sandwich is when you take two pieces of bread, put something yummy in between them, and eat it. And no," She added as she Naruto open his mouth again. "You can't make a ramen sandwich." Naruto sighed.

"Stay here, I'll go make some." Kaira said as she walked quickly over to her kitchen. She got out bread, ham and mayonnaise, and made ham sandwiches.

"Okay she called, come and get 'em!" She said loudly, banging a spoon on a pot, just for effect. When she saw the three ninja just sit there, she sighed. She had forgotten. It was almost to tiring just to stand, never mind walking the 10 feet it took to get in to the kitchen. So she just loaded everything onto a tray and brought dinner to them.

As they were eating their sandwiches quietly Kaira thought she heard the door open. As she stood up from the table to go see what the heck a door-to-door salesman saw in her apartment, she almost walked into the person who had come to her house. And it was defiantly _not _a door-to-door salesman.

He was a very old man, at least a hundred years old, judging by the long snow white beard tucked in to his belt. He had clear light blue eyes behind small half moon spectacles. His long hair was also white. He was wearing a light blue robe, only a shade or so lighter than his eyes. He also had on a matching blue pointy hat.

"Hello Kaira. Might I come in for a second?" He asked politely. "I hope I'm not disturbing your supper?"

"Uh, yes I guess you could come in." Kaira said slowly. 'How in the world does he know my name?' She thought to herself. 'That seems to happening a lot lately.' "Thank you." The man said. Then he swept past her and into the living room, only to find Naruto and Sakura staring at him and Sasuke looking at him suspiciously. "Umm, guys this is Mr.…" Kaira began, and then stopped not knowing what to call this old man.

"Albus Dumbledore. Or Professor Dumbledore. What ever you choose." Professor Albus Dumbledore said quickly. "Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke." Kaira said, gesturing to the three ninjas sitting on the floor. "They're from…" Again she stopped, not knowing what to say. "We're exchange students from Japan." Sasuke said.

"Aha. I see. Then you wouldn't happen to know any ninja would you? You see I contacted the Hokage of a certain Village Hidden in the Leaves. She promised to send me some to help me guard my school. Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry." Dumbledore said softly, with a twinkle in his blue eyes. The ninjas gulped. "Well then I guess I'll be leaving, but first. I need to give you this Kaira." He said pulling out a small off white envelope and handing it to her.

"Okay fine." Sakura admitted. "We're the ninja. Now what do you want with us?"

"Excellent." Dumbledore said. He then dropped the letter into Kairas outstretched hands. "I would advise opening that until after we are done speaking." He added before turning to the three ninjas.

"Last week, your Hokage got a letter, explaining that I would like some help with the protection of my school. She agreed to send over at least four teams of three to help with the situation. She also said she would contact another village for reinforcements. She said the first batch would be arriving today, and here you are." He said.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa old man. Slow down a little. You said _four _maybe _five _teams. But Baa-chan told us we were the only ones going." Naruto said.

"I do not know why she didn't tell you about the others, but that's the way it went." Dumbledore said.

"When do we start guarding the school?" Sasuke asked. "On the first day of course. But you start guarding tomorrow." Dumbledore said "But you said…" Sakura started, before she was cut off by the professor.

"I forgot to tell you. You won't just be guarding the school. You will personally be guarding one student in particular as well." Dumbledore informed them. "His name is Harry Potter. You will be picked up sometime in the afternoon."

"Now, Kaira. You probably should be opening that letter." Dumbledore said quietly.

With slightly shaky hands, Kaira broke open the wax seal on the back of the letter. Inside it wrote.

_HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND_

_WIZARDRY_

_Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore_

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grad Sorc., _

_Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International_

_Confed. of Wizards)_

_Dear Mrs. Johnson,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment._

_Term begins on September 1 September. We await your owl no later than 31 August._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall._

_Deputy Headmistress._

By the Kaira had read the headline, she was _very _confused. By the time she had read the letter though, she was feeling rather faint. While she was reading the letter, she hadn't heard the small pop and the disappearance of the wizard, or the gasps of Sakura.

"Professor Dumbledore, I really don't think I'm a, Professor Dumbledore?" Kaira asked inquisitively. "He left." Sasuke said quietly. Kaira frowned. "But I'm standing in front of the door?" Kaira said. "Whoever said anything about doors?" Sasuke said.

"It was really cool!" Naruto said loudly. He just kinda twirled and, POP! He was gone!"

"What does the note say Kaira?" Sakura asked.

"It says I'm a _witch_." Kaira said softly. "It says I've been accepted to some sort of school. The same school you guys are supposed to be guarding."

"Hey! That means we can stay together!" Naruto shouted.

Kaira looked down. "Hopefully." She said quietly. "Why not?" Sakura asked her. "You were accepted."

"I don't know if my Dad will let me go. He's been really protective of me ever since I was born. Probably because of my Mom. But I hope he will." Kaira answered. "Besides, Hogwarts sounds fun; you know, magic and stuff." She smiled.

"Hey it's late; we should be getting to sleep." Kaira said. "Since I have a trundle bed, Sakura can sleep there and I can sleep on my bed. We have a mat somewhere in this house, so one of the boys can sleep on the couch, and one of them can sleep on the floor. We also have lots of extra blankets. Thankfully my Dad can never be 'too prepared'. Sakura can borrow some of my stuff, and the boys can wear some of my Dads old shirts. Good?" Her question was answered with two nodding heads and a "Sure!" from the blonde.

Once they had made the beds and gotten into some pajamas, they slept. And they would need it, for a strange day lay ahead of them.

_--_

A/N: I know, suckish ending, but oh well. Next chapter shall be up, sometime in the future… Unfortunately, probably not the near future...


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